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Joke of the Day

"If I was a video game character, the 'B' button would activate my special move: Avoiding conversations."

"It's difficult to say what my wife does for a living. She sells seashells down by the seashore."

"My last girlfriend ate a like a bird She literally banged her head repeatedly onto the table to eat"

"who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand"

"Why are they called dive bars? Because they have pool"

"They constantly call trump a white supremacist, but how can he be that when he's not even white himself? He is orange."

"A joke from my 5 year old brother... Q: What has four legs but doesn't move? A: A statue of a dog!"

"Magician: an ordinary deck of cards right? Guy in front row: that's a ham. Magician: [whispers to assistant] get eagle eyes out of here."

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work!"

"Dating in your thirties is like finding a parking spot, the only way to get one is to follow them out to their car."