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Joke of the Day

"If I was a video game character, the 'B' button would activate my special move: Avoiding conversations."

"Did you hear about the new movie about the Nazi with a speech impediment? Schindler's Lisp"

"It looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night ... Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest."

"Did you hear there was a sequel to The Boy in the Striped Pajamas where he visits Charlie in his chocolate factory? It's called the Gas Elevator (I know I'm going to hell for this)"

"When I see a person with facial tattoos, I also know that I will see them in handcuffs if I follow them around long enough."

"The pirate was pretty tired... He YARwned."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"You know why /r/jokes doesn't allow pictures? thatsthejoke.jpg"

"What does an army of fire ants have in common with a horny dolphin? Both come in waves."