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Joke of the Day

"Magician: an ordinary deck of cards right? Guy in front row: that's a ham. Magician: [whispers to assistant] get eagle eyes out of here."

"Yeah, I lost to my computer at chess. But it turned out to be no match for me at kickboxing."

"Slippers made out of Lego so that when you step on Lego you just get taller."

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a ferrari? The porcupine has pricks on the outside."

"I went to an AA meeting I met a lot of batteries"

"Two heads aren't better than one if you're both stupid."

"I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs."

"Do you know what's funnier than 24? *25*"

"I swallowed a live bee the other day It turned into quite an intra-sting situation."

"My doctor accidentally mixed my Viagra with laxitives I didn't know whether I was coming or going!"