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Joke of the Day

"Husband: ""Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?"" Wife: ""Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce Shall we go out and have a cake'!"""

"Crush: ""Hey!"" Me: *Retard mode activated*"

"So I got a manual on how to please a man. So far it's really come in handy."

"I love a girl with a trimmed bush.... Only because its makes it easier to see her through the window at night."

"The brain is a wonder ful thing Why do you say that ? Because it starts working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until you get asked a question in class !"

"Two girls and a cup walk into a bar. They get shitfaced."

"I was hanging out with some lesbians... Yes, I do have a penis. But don't worry, I won't hold it against you."

"What do you call a bloke with a bus on his head? Dead."

"A slice of ham and a slice of cheese walk into a bar They ask the bartender for 2 beers. ""Sorry we don't serve food here"" replied the bartender."

"10 year old: What was it like? Me: What was what like? 10: Being alive in the 1900's? Me: Go to your room."