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Joke of the Day
"What does an academic call masturbation? His seminal work."
Next Joke
"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""
"Shout out... ...to the people who don't know what the opposite of in is."
"Gross. Now I can't eat salmonilla without thinking about eggs."
"People are like books. You can't judge them by appearance alone and it's not cool to burn a big pile of them."
"Why did the vengeful fireman lose his job? He tried fighting fire with fire."
"""Excuse me, waiter? Can I get a doggy bag"" ""Sorry ma'am, we only have Doge bags."" Much leftovers So pasta Very taking home Wow reheat at 350"
"My friend once said, ""If I wasn't making cocktails, I'd be a criminal."" Now he's behind bars."
"""Hi, I'd like a Junior McChicken and a cheeseburger please."" ""$3.23."" ""Oh, and a bottle of water."" ""$87.54. Please drive thru."""
"What do you take on a math camping trip? 2/10"