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Joke of the Day

"Gross. Now I can't eat salmonilla without thinking about eggs."

"Q: How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Change it to what?"

"The most sexist joke you've ever heard. Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; give a man a vagina and you feed her for a lifetime."

"Me: I'm completely lost. What's going on in this movie? Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record."

"I accidentally called it an eternity scarf instead of an infinity scarf and now I have to drink my Starbucks outside."

"""LET MY PEEPHOLE GO!"" -Moses when the cops found the peephole he installed in the Womens washroom."

"The best thing about the Transformers trilogy was the part in the first one when my brother went to go get popcorn and fell down the aisle."

"What education program did Eric Wright enroll in? ECE"

"I only have sex with the lights off to prevent having to explain some of my tattoos."

"What's the difference between an ant and a bird? A bird can fly."