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Joke of the Day

"""Excuse me, waiter? Can I get a doggy bag"" ""Sorry ma'am, we only have Doge bags."" Much leftovers So pasta Very taking home Wow reheat at 350"

"i wonder if china has fancy plates called america"

"Why don't I take my guinea pigs on walksies It's hard on my cavies"

"WIFE: What're you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?"

"Did you hear about the girl who gave out handjobs to electricians, plumbers, mechanic, you name it? She was a right Jack off all trades."

"I'm not a fan of male-to-female sex change surgery... It just seems like a dick move."

"What's the real reason Mr. Clean is always smiling? He likes it dirty."

"I've just been fired from my job at the clock-making factory... ...must have been all those extra hours I've been putting in."

"What do you call a cross between a skunk, a wolverine, and a porcupine? ""Sir"" from a distance."

"*interrupts your baby's first words* ""IF A PANDA WEARS A HANDKERCHIEF IT'S CALLED A PANDANA."""