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Joke of the Day

"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""

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"Why did the buddhist refuse novocaine when he went to get a tooth pulled? He wanted to transcend dental medication."
"If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel."
"A kiss makes my day. Anal makes my whole week."
"I'm not particularly bad at cooking, but how long is the pasta supposed to stay in the toaster?"
"what idiot called it tinted windows instead of a drug car tell"
"If you say ""no ifs, ands, or buts"", then get ready for a shitload of ""shoulds"", ""as well as"", and ""howevers""."
"Why does the Pope always win at chess? He has so many Bishops!"
"Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app... called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Just ask a glass of water! -Douglas Adams"