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Joke of the Day

"As he inserted the rectal thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious erection... ""Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog,"" said the vet."

"Jesus loves you. These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison."

"When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?"

"Daddy! Tell me a story.. The Tooth Fairy is really a wicked witch, who takes all your teeth if you sleep with your mouth open. Good night."

"Do you know why police dogs are called K9? Well, because if they used ""K10"", they'd be cats."

"I remember lying in bed as a kid, waiting for Santa to come... Then there was that awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"I keep confusing the names Jimmy and James Doesn't matter, as they both think everyone loves their sausage."

"Did you hear about the guy that threw away a duck? He got down in the dumps."

"Did you hear about the Lepers hockey game? There was a face off in the corner."

"A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, ""Beat it, guys!"" ""We don't serve food!"""