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Joke of the Day

"A Prime Rib, A Baked Potato, and a Garden Salad walk into a bar... The bartender snaps his head away from the newspaper and yells, ""Beat it, guys!"" ""We don't serve food!"""

Next Joke
 
"Mum: ""OMG clean your room! This is MADNESS!"" Me: ""Madness?! NO... THIS IS SPARTA!!"" *Kicks Mum*.."
"Dis'se I've contracted a disease."
"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."
"What kind of music does a mummy like? (W)rap music!"
"Jesus was the original crossfit."
"In the United States the colors red white and blue represent freedom. Unless they see it in their rear view mirror."
"What does a fat person, a match, and a phone have in common? Cellulite."
"Why was the hipster wearing a scarf during the summer? He liked wearing scarves before it got cool."
"Why did the short vampire like to gamble? Because the stakes were high!"