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Joke of the Day

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"I probably should kill myself Because I want to leave the same way I came. By my own hand."

"Man this clown thing is really getting out of control there are even 2 clowns running for president ."

"Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC."

"A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."""

"[pitching movie] ""It's Titanic..."" Go on ""from the iceberg's perspective"" holy shit"

"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."

"No, I don't want to ""Like"" your business on Facebook. I barely ""Like"" you."

"[2 cavemen] Look what me discover! This game changer! *grabs it* ""This hot! Burn fingers. What you call it?"" *takes back mixtape* FIRE!"

"What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy? ""Oh god, a caucus!"" ^^^cuz ^^^he ^^^has ^^^a ^^^new ^^^england ^^^accent"