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Joke of the Day

"You burn more calories chasing after your cat than you get from eating it. It's the celery of pets."

"Punch Lines ""The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born."""

"What did the pirate say to his kids when picking them up from school? Get in the carrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Knock Knock... Who's there? Sean Bean. Sean Bean who? Oh that's right, you started watching after his character died. Works for pretty much anything Sean Bean is in except Sharpe."

"- do u like green eggs & ham? - i do not like them, sam i am - but why? - animal agriculture leads to global warming sam read a goddamn book"

"Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans? Because the extra bean would be too farty."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Chopin ! Chopin who ? Chopin the supermarket !"

"So I was in sex-ed class when the teacher asked me what comes after 69. Apparently ""70"" was not the correct answer."

"It's all shits and giggles until........ someone giggles and shits"

"Whats blue and smells like red paint? blue paint"