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Joke of the Day

"folks this is your captain, we're reaching an altitude of 69,000ft. the plane can't fly this high so we're gonna crash, but it was worth it."

"the best part about kissing a girl is that fun little 30yr build-up right before it happens"

"Before having a kid the most important thing to ask yourself is ""Am I ready to watch the exact same cartoon on repeat for the next 4 years?"""

"I got a blow up doll, that was Made in Baghdad Problem is... it blew itself up"

"How many internet users does it take to change a light-bulb? I dunno. Let's just sign a petition so that hopefully somebody will do it."

"The number of Pina coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many."

"What an upset manly clock with boobs says to another manly clock with boobs who doesn't arrives in time for their homossexual dating? You man nipple lated me"

"What was the policeman's baby's first words ? Hallo Hallo Hallo !"

"This is very serious ... please read and be aware: IF YOU GET AN E-MAIL TITLED, ""NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON,"" DON'T OPEN IT.... IT CONTAINS A NUDE PHOTO OF HILLARY CLINTON !!"

"I try to find the good in every situation. Wait. That was a typo. I meant ""food."" I try to find the food in every situation."