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Joke of the Day

"The number of Pina coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many."

"BERNIE: all people deserve to be treated equally HILLARY: the oposite of ""bernie sanders"" is ""soakey waterers"" BERNIE: ... HILLARY: pls fav/rt"

"If a stack is first in last out and a queue is first in first out, what is a circular queue? First in never out."

"Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate"

"I always try to put some condom wrappers in my garbage so the raccoons that go through my trash think I'm cool."

"Just saw a homeless woman try to use a cat as a telephone. She accepted a cigarette in exchange for the cat. Cat is my telephone now."

"Why do sharks only swim in salt water? (Got this is a Cracker Jack box) Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"

"A man comes into a bar No, wait, it was a horse. So a man comes into a horse..."

"If corporations are people then that's really gross because we walk inside of them all the time."

"So I was going down on my grandmother the other day.. And her pussy tasted like horse semen. I had to stop myself for a second and think to myself ""Is this how she died?"""