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Joke of the Day

"I just finished an exciting book on 19th century shipbuilding techniques... It was riveting."

"Mmmh, the wetness...don't stop, harder, oh god yes, more fingers...I love the way you rub my head. --me, getting a shampoo at the salon"

"What's a pirate's favorite programming language? You might think it's R, but his first love has always been the C."

"What do you call a Roman with pubic hair in his teeth? Gladiator"

"What is the similarity between women and square roots? If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head."

"i started carrying a knife on me after an attempted mugging three years ago. since then, my mugging attempts have been much more successful."

"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? Because it was stuck in a crack."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and a notebook? A notebook has papers. -I'll see myself out now"

"Why cant you suprise a snow man? Because its an inanimate object."

"What is a pirate's favorite fast food restaurant? Long John Silvers."