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Joke of the Day

"I like my girlfriends the same way I like my Windows 8"

"What do you call an Indonesian shoe factory that just had air conditioning installed? A sweatstop."

"Developers don't spoon their SO They fork them."

"I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids... ...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed."

"I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me"

"You should always carry pepper when you go into the city In case you become a victim of a-salt!"

"My cousin posted a meme in family group chat and my aunt said ""maybe this is the year you find a husband like the way you find good jokes"" "

"People who use that snobby pronunciation of ""vase"" make me want to punch them in the foz."

"Jimmy the NASCAR driver liked to masturbate during the race. He always came first, but finished last."

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today... I said no way, we should be concentrating on locking them up!"