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Joke of the Day

"I knew a kid in grade school who was born with deformed eyelids... ...So they took the flesh from his circumcision to fix his deformity. For the rest of his life he was cock-eyed."

Next Joke
 
"Enough with the bass jokes. Just drop it. wubwubwub"
"What does a stripper do to her asshole before work? She drops him off at band practice."
"""Hi, I'm a male feminist and just shut up for a second while I explain to you why that's so important"""
"look, men and women are BIOLOGICALLY different. ever since the cave man times boys have loved cars and girls have loved toy ovens"
"I just learned that 10 out of every 2 people suffers from Dyslexia wow... sorry, I mean wow"
"A photon checks into a hotel.. The bellhop says: ""Can I get your bags?"" The photon says: ""that's ok, I'm traveling light"" - I heard Neil DeGrasse Tyson tell this joke with pure giddiness"
"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"
"The phrase 'lazy asshole' is an oxymoron... Because an asshole gets shit done."
"Why do firemen have bigger balls than policemen? Because they sell more tickets!"