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Joke of the Day

"Wife to Husband: I'll have you know I've got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back you're wearing it out."

"What's the difference between Eric cartman and deez nuts? One is a dick from Southpark, the other parks south of my dick"

"How I would kidnap pedophiles. Have a white van advertisting free kids."

"What is wrong with Riverdale that ARCHIE was the best option?"

"Bad puns run in the family... I guess they're he**reddit**ary"

"[at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) ""What?"""

"Why couldn't the fruit get married? They cantaloupe"

"Why did the mathematician ignore the tan lady on the beach? He was too concerned with the tan gent."

"something we all think is funny. Everybody thinks a pussy fart is funny, right?"

"[Skype] ME: Finally I see your face and wow. HIM: [naked] Where are you?! ME: Starbucks. Wanna meet a few friends? They like your tweets."