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Joke of the Day
"I tried to say no to the vodka but it was 40% stronger than me"
Next Joke
"How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side."
"Me: My leg always feels like my phone is vibrating. WebMD: Phone Cancer"
"My girlfriend told me to stop listening to Oasis I said maybe.."
"What did the flower say to the bicycle? Petal."
"Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!"
"I respected people a lot more before Spotify told me what they were listening to."
"Synonym is an antonym for antonym, but antonym is not a synonym for synonym. And I'm not even high or anything."
"Tummy REALLY hurts. I guess that's what I get for being extra careful of diseases! (Coating all foods/drinks in Purell)"
"Oil is made from dinosaurs. Plastic is made from oil. Plastic dinosaurs are made from real dinosaurs."