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Joke of the Day

"Got asked to help unlock a PDF file today... I said no way, we should be concentrating on locking them up!"

"I need to workout ASAP I gotta start working out or something man. Was struggling to get all the juice squeezed out of a lemon. Not cool"

"What's the difference between Jews and a bullet? The bullet comes out of the chamber."

"I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag."

"Yo momma so white... ...she thinks mayonaise is a spice. ...when she goes to vote, her name is still on the list. ...when she goes to jail, she gets parole."

"The only two things I hate are Racism and The Portuguese"

"What was the blacksmith's slogan? ""Shop here! You'll be Gladius you did!"""

"I saw Don Draper driving a toupee across a high-wire. Another character driven piece on cable."

"What do you call a lonely cow? Beef Jerky"

"Batman should teach girls about periods in school... ""Tell me, do you bleed?... You will."""