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Joke of the Day

"I asked my doctor how bad my breath is. ""You see that broccoli over there?"" he pointed. ""Yes..."" I replied. ""That was a cauliflower before you started talking."""

"Two goldfish are alone in a tank, One says to the other one, ""have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"Difference Between Thief ? Q: What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief? A: A thief snatches your watch."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? Acne doesn't come onto a boy's face until he's 13."

"Last year i was miserable and depressed, But this year I've turned it around, I'm depressed and miserable"

"Light a fire for a man, he'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% other people cheapening the meaning of the word ""genius""."

"Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Question: Why did the Skeleton cross the road? Answer: To go to the body shop."

"A farmer wins $30 million in a lottery A reporter asks him if he's going to retire and he says ""No, I'm just going to keep farming until it's all gone."""

"Q: What happens when a professor teaches for a decade? A: He gets Tenyear."