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Joke of the Day

"'I've been a very bad girl,' she said, biting her lip. 'I need to be punished.' 'Very well,' he said and installed Windows 10 on her laptop."

"Why do technicolor pigs have great breath? Because the have a lot of pigments."

"My corduroy pillow has been making headlines all week."

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? It's hard to pick one, but the flag is a big plus."

"Does everyone get take 'by mouth' printed on their pills or did the pharmacist look me over and think hmm...this guy might go the other way?"

"Why are Subway cooks called ""Sandwich Artists""? Even art majors deserve recognition"

"Putting a carrot next to you in bed can almost fill the space where Megan used to slep"

"looney toons fans: ah, good... once again elmer has failed to put food on the table... he won't survive the winter. this is truly hilarious"

"Ever heard a band called 1023 Megabytes? Of course not. They haven't made a gig yet."

"Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people."