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Joke of the Day

"A man recently felt funny and came over queasy... At which point he was asked to leave the local amateur production of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"What do you call a nervous javelin thrower? Shakespeare"

"Have you heard about the guy who got frozen to the absolute freezing point? Don't worry, he's 0K now."

"Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like."

"How do you get a jew out of his car? Tell him it runs on gas"

"I still have a landline. Or as I like to call it, Cell Phone Finder."

"On Passive-Aggressive Jeopardy, the contestants answer Alex Trebek in the form of rhetorical questions."

"Why is stormtrooper always late from work? He keeps missing his train"

"Hey people who say 'I want my funeral to be like this': what are you going to do about it if they don't do it like that?"

"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"