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Joke of the Day
"Girls are like blackjack... I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."
Next Joke
"My dad just told me I should ""stop wasting my life and do something meaningful"" Dad jokes, am I right?"
"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? (Sorry if you've heard this) Christopher Walken"
"New diet plan: murder all the skinny people."
"No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace."
"How do a neckbeard's cells divide? by m'tosis"
"News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*"
"I invited Jim for dinner ""Jim from church or Jim who travels everywhere by catapult?"" [Loud thud on the roof] *sigh* ""I'll get the ladders"""
"[catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened."
"Putting captions in the wrong place You know what I hate the most...?"