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Joke of the Day

"How do a neckbeard's cells divide? by m'tosis"

"I hope it's not too weird the next time I get a haircut and the barber asks, ""So, how do you want it?"" and I reply, ""Like Ellen DeGeneres."""

"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."

"/r/jokes http://i.imgur.com/i9mD9jZ.gifv I don't remember what that link is, used this cuz reddit says I need text here to post."

"The people who post to /r/jokes have zero sense of humor... Maybe it's a weird meta-humor thing....or maybe this is where everyone's creepy uncle hangs out"

"If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy."

"I've never liked new years at time square They always drop the ball"

"Do you know why Jewish men are circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless it's ten percent off."

"There is nothing quite as genuine as hearing from a friend you haven't seen in forever and finding out she sells Avon now."

"My friend was trying to annoy me with bird puns Well, toucan play at that game"