2216

Joke of the Day

"I don't need to run a marathon to load up on carbs and ask someone to wrap me up in a blanket."

"I saw a sign yesterday that said ""watch for children"" I thought it was a good trade"

"Sometimes I'll take such a good picture of someone I'm like ""this is definitely making it into the slide show at their funeral."""

"I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch."

"Why did the devil buy so many shoes? He wanted their soles."

"I like my women like I like my soup... With most of the skin removed."

"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"

"We've secretly replaced Janet's coffee with melatonin capsules. Let's see if okay yeah, she noticed. She looks pissed. Sleepy, but pissed..."

"What does batman take in his beverages? just...ice."

"I wonder if my first cat appreciates being at least slightly immortalized in my passwords."