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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like I like my women ... Hot, wet, and all over my crotch."

"What type of bees makes milk instead of honey? Boobies"

"Got passed by a guy with a ponytail riding a moped so no I'm not ok."

"I told my sister a joke about the belts. I didn't know if it would hold up"

"What do you call an alligator in a vest? A investigator"

"Why Doesn't Humpty Dumpty Believe in Anything? Because he's an EGGnostic!"

"Before this goes any further, it's important that I know your position on foreign films with subtitles."

"Doctor: Are you on any antidepressants? Me: You mean like nachos? Yes."

"A bomb went off in an ink factory... Everyone Dyed."

"I was at Morrisons earlier and the cashier asked a foreign couple if they needed help packing. I thought ""Fuck me, this is getting serious"""