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Joke of the Day

"What does batman take in his beverages? just...ice."

"If I was a sick professor giving a lecture... Ibuprofen"

"Q: Did you hear they put two new faces on Mt. Rushmore? A: Yeah they were Bill Clinton."

"Why doesn't democracy work in china? Because no one wants to hold an erection."

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME: *inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk* I thought u'd never ask"

"Supermarket Workers So this woman comes to the meat section of a supermarket and asks the butcher if he has any brain, and he responds with: ""Miss, if I had a brain I wouldn't be working here"""

"I saw my ex while taking a test today wonder if she cheated on that too..."

"I don't feel bad for the people killed in ""Jaws"". When I know where a murderer lives, I don't go swimming in his bathtub."

"Drinking ink won't kill you, you'll just dye a little inside."

"Why is your wife annoying? Because she is always jalapeno business."