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Joke of the Day

"What is the most common kind of martial arts among Germans? Jewjitsu"

"Dave is coming over. ""Dave Wilson or Dave who thinks he's Spider-Man?"" [loud thud on the roof] BACK DOOR IS OPEN, DAVE"

"It's like my pastor always says, ""Who are you and why are you stealing wine?"""

"What do you call Nightwing in a coffin? Dick in a box."

"I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in..... ""Troy."" he said, suddenly. ""I am."" I replied. ""Give me a minute"""

"How did Charlie Sheen get HIV? By injecting tiger blood"

"To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!"

"Adults have imaginary friends too... his name is God."

"How to kiss: 1-open your mouth 2-wider 3-wider 4-unhinge jaw 5-summon the Dark Overlord"

"Did you hear about the time that shallots, scallions, ramps, and leeks all got together? They tried to onionize."