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Joke of the Day

"Dave is coming over. ""Dave Wilson or Dave who thinks he's Spider-Man?"" [loud thud on the roof] BACK DOOR IS OPEN, DAVE"

"How do you kill a snail? With an as-salt rifle!"

"What does a gay horse eat? heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey"

"If two vegans are arguing with each other... ...would it still be considered beef?"

"Many of my tumblr friends identify as otherkin. Be it wolfkin, eaglekin or yes even fantasykin. I myself identify as a jedi. So I'm forcekin."

"Men are like copiers. You need them for reproduction but that's about it."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much But in the end it doesn't even matter"

"What do you guys think of this quote I came up with? ""Good artists copy, great artists steal."""

"A small joke... A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks ""I know you are busy but do you treat dwarves?"" The doctor replies ""Yes, but you will have to be a little patient""."

"[spelling bee finals] JUDGE: your word is ""asterisk"" KID: can you use it in a sentence? JUDGE: *adjusts mic* yes"