141082

Joke of the Day

"Adults have imaginary friends too... his name is God."

"How come when someone says ""we need to talk"" it's never about ice cream or Star Wars?"

"My girlfriend of 6 years broke up with me on the grounds that I'm an ""emotionally stunted, unfeeling, uncaring piece of shit"". I don't know how I feel about this."

"If an Islamic man is murdered, what do you call it? A Muhommid-cide."

"The court was very accommodating handing Jared a fifteen year sentence. He'll even be able to take his girlfriend out for her 21st birthday."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""

"Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets? They ain't private ears. (I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)"

"No beer or Snacks?!? WORST. PARTY. EVER. Family: uh...this is an Intervention Me: LAME, look, Grandmas so bored she's crying"

"Where do go when you are cold? - The corner it is always 90 degrees. :-)"

"What is a cannibal's favourite treat? A kid kat. (My 9 year old son made this up.)"