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Joke of the Day

"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"

"As a Malaysian, I thought that our Prime Minister would be crowned the worst political leader of the century But it looks like America has finally decided to us their Trump card."

"I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays When people go to ask me ""hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"" I'll be like ""nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"""

"My son was twice as hungry as me. So I only ate a one Na fish sandwich."

"Mike Tyson's biggest problem was he never had a strong male role model growing up. Mike's dad walked out on the family very early on, after Mike raped him."

"How did the native find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!"

"So wrong, it must be right. So right, it must be left. WTF? These directions are terrible."

"He asked what I like in bed so I was honest: 1. My dog 2. iPhone 3. Blankets fresh from the dryer 4. Take out"

"the C in CNN stands for cterrible"

"I like big NUTS n my pecan pie u other bakers cant deny When a treat comes n with a crust too thin & the crumbs get on my chin It gets FLUNG"