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Joke of the Day

"To the account who followed me while I slept and then unfollowed me before I woke. My apologies for taking a break. It won't happen again!"

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"There was a pedophile being sought out by the community... Apparently saying ""somebody please think of the children"" was the wrong thing to say."

"Can I major in Life Hacks? Why not, I've already got two degrees that could be less useful."

"NSFW Your dick's like Mt. Everest... It's hard to get up"

"Where did the small road go to college? Tulane University"

"sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like ""cool"""

"What do you call a handjob in chemistry? Strokeiometry"

"What's the difference between a blowjob and a burger? Oh, you don't know? We should do lunch sometime."

"A couple are talking Her: Come over. Him: I'm coming over. Her: We should really stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."