217295

Joke of the Day

"Why do christians burn fossil fuels? They're trying to destroy the evidence."

"The Venn diagram of ""stuff I was supposed to do today"" and ""stuff I did today"" is two separate circles and the second one is a pizza"

"Mariah Carey sounded horrible the other day. It was like a cannon went off in her throat."

"Energy Drink OD = Black out and wake up in a bookstore signing copies of the book ""Part-time Boy: The Unauthorized Biography of Lady Gaga."""

"With great power comes Greater difficulty in factorizing the polynomial."

"Wow my pants are really loose today *skips to the nearest vending machine*"

"What do you call a selfless pastrami? Pastramyou"

"What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence? Parole."

"Ibuprofen is my favorite headache medicine that also sounds like a reggae professor."

"My love is like a candle... If you forget about me, I'll burn your fucking house down."