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Joke of the Day

"My love is like a candle... If you forget about me, I'll burn your fucking house down."

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had there was a dog in a cage... it was a shih tzu"

"What is the favorite sports team at the twin towers? The Jets"

"They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."

"I asked a beautiful Chinese girl for her number. She replied, ""Sex sex sex free sex tonight"". I said, ""Wow"". Then her friend speaks: ""She means 6663629""."

"An ISIS recruit asks his wife.. ""Let's try 69 tonight"" Wife says, ""You should rather try 72"". She then blows him up."

"My penis is a gentleman ... It stands up so ladies have a place to sit down."

"Basically, our plans for the satanic ritual fell through, because we couldn't agree on whose turn it was to get the goat."

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use lubricant."

"Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal? Because she was scared of comet-ment"