212317

Joke of the Day

"My toddler is learning to speak so I'm trying to teach him some phrases for social success. Things like ""true dat"" and ""pass the gravy."""

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"For your information, we'll be remembered as the generation who thought a fat Korean pretending to ride a horse was entertaining to look at."

"Did you hear about the Jew and the Scotsman who spent the night together? Apparently that's all they spent."

"How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!"

"Do you like to draw? Because I put the D in raw"

"A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him ""Are you a bear?"" ""Yes"" ""What are you doing at the movies ?"" ""Well I liked the book!"""

"If you crossed a gangster and a garbage man what would you have? Organised grime (crime)."

"A vulture carrying two dead raccoons tries to board an airplane... and the flight attendant says, ""I'm sorry, sir. You're only allowed one carrion."""

"Me: Forgive me father I have sinned Priest: Get out of my house M: But it's a big sin P: *sigh* Speak child M: I broke into your house"