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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Jew and the Scotsman who spent the night together? Apparently that's all they spent."

"If I'm on a sneezing fit it's best to let me go, because by the 4th time you say ""God bless you,"" I'm ready for you to be out of my life."

"reckon the clouds look down and say, ''look! that one is shaped like an idiot?''"

"""Not much. Just hanging out, hoping for World War III."" - Map makers"

"What`s the definition of frustration? A 16 year old boy outside the Fuck-For-A-Buck shop with only 99 cents."

"George R.R. martins House words should be ""Book is coming"" because he keeps saying it but it never seems to actually happen."

"So Arnold Schwarzenegger opened a pest control business... Because he was already an Ex Terminator."

"Have you ever had Somalian food? Neither have they."

"I got into a heated debate with my friend about time travel... We really opened a can of wormholes."

"hey can I use your bathroom? cashier: only paying customers jesus...ok just give me 9 double whoppers with cheese, a chocolate shake, 2-"