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Joke of the Day

"Don't you say that about Java. Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders"

"OC: after talking with my buddy, I thought of this. how do you know if some does crossfit? They''ll tell you."

"What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become? A hardened criminal."

"What noise does a Nintendo ambulance make? Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u-Wii-u"

"Tie a sweater around your waist so you can pretend a short ghost is hugging you."

"""LSD Makes Users Lose Weight"" That makes sense. It's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."

"Why don't pirates ever stop going to brothels? They can't get enough booty."

"Best Blonde Joke Ever What is the funniest blonde joke you've ever heard?"

"[soldier dying in my arms] ""You take this & you give it to my wife."" ""No [pushes watch back to soldier] she lives really far away from me."""

"Hey imbecile, just because you are listening to loud music on your iPod, doesn't mean that the rest of the supermarket can't hear you fart"