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Joke of the Day

"What did Pongo say to Goofy at the Annual Disney Dog Conference? I've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."

"sometimes I wonder if Einstein's friends were ever able to say ""nice work, Einstein"" without sounding sarcastic"

"The ladies in my knitting club think it's hilarious when I greet them by saying, ""Sup, my knittas?!"""

"Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206."

"Do you know the difference between pink and purple? Your grip."

"Knock Knock Who's there ? Closure ! Closure who ? Closure mouth when you eat !"

"What kind of dog does Sauron have? A La-Barad-dur"

"Girl, are you my funny bone? Cause you're humerus."

"Boyfriend wants me to eat loads of purple candy so I can ""dye"" his balls for Easter. He better trim the grass first."

"The lights at the Chinese restaurant were too bright... ... so the manager had to dim sum"