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Joke of the Day

"What did Pongo say to Goofy at the Annual Disney Dog Conference? I've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."

"Why are pirates angry after leaving the bathroom? Because after ""p"" comes ""irate"""

"What is currently the greatest crime in China? Identity theft."

"How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!"

"BREAKING NEWS: A man breaks two ribs while laying in bed! ...and we'll return after this short commercial with more on how a man attempted to suck his own penis!"

"How many gay guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw it in, one to pour the wine, and one to say 'marvelous, simply marvelous!'"

"Interviewer: what's your greatest weakness? Me: I'm always very honest. Interviewer: I don't think that's a weakness. Me: I don't give a fuck what you think."

"If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice."

"What type of computer sings? A Dell."

"Why did the fastest animal on earth got disqualified on the race? Because it is using steroids."