201930

Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend wants me to eat loads of purple candy so I can ""dye"" his balls for Easter. He better trim the grass first."

"What can you get off with your finger that you can't get off with steel wool? Your girlfriend."

"My brain knows that there's a guy doing work on my roof today, but my nervous system keeps acting like the house is under attack."

"How can you tell a Belgian in a submarine? He's the one with a parachute on his back."

"Why are wedding gowns white? Cuz the dishwasher should match the stove and the fridge"

"WHAT'S BETTER THAN A ROADMAN!!!!!!??? A ROADMAP!!!"

"Dang I didn't make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row"

"R/jokes Is the place you go when you wanna be put down by a bunch of assholes"

"I got a 0 on my computers test. a 01000001"

"I put more effort into making it look like I'm doing my job than I do doing my actual job."