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Joke of the Day

"MADOKA MAGICA SPOILERS Why did Tomoe Mami die? She got ahead of herself."

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"If you use yahoo search engine, A really lonely nerd in his yahoo office frantically googles your request and then posts the results"
"Soup Person1 my alphabet soup is telling me a message. Person 2 what is it saying? Person1: oooooo Person 2 *sigh* Those are cheerios"
"Did you hear about the midget Scotsman who does avant garde strip tease? He's a little off kilter."
"ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?"
"The only thing worse than a cold toilet seat is a warm one"
"Why do they call it PMS? Because mad cow disease was taken"
"I've had like 6 red bulls, so of course I'm vacuuming the front yard."
"Have you heard about the humble farmer? He's a grower, not a shower."
"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock."