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Joke of the Day
"I've had like 6 red bulls, so of course I'm vacuuming the front yard."
Next Joke
"My GF arrives in town next week. I'm so excited! I just hope that all the tension w/ Russia doesn't make U.S. immigration hold up the mail."
"Mules... are SO half-assed."
"Went to a parade. For an hour, bored people on floats waved. For an hour, My 2-year-old waved back. It was the greatest day of her life."
"What's bad about wetting your bed? Urine it."
"Domestic terrorism? Meh... International terrorism? EHMAGARD!!"
"How can Russia love pickles and vodka but hate gay people? They have such similar interests"
"How does a Welshman find a sheep in a field of tall grass? Pleasing."
"When three or four Natives gather together... There's usually a fifth."
"My mom made some french fries for you guys... but you were dicks about it because they were potato quality."