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Joke of the Day

"ME[David Attenborough voice] Starting with the outer layers he'll devour the entire carcass HER: are you narrating yourself eating lasagna?"

"Two Goldfish are in a Tank One turns to the other and says.. ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"""

"Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done? At the ugly parlour."

"My friend accidentally shot off his toes. He told me to take him to the hospital,But I can't I'm Lack-toes-intolerant."

"Where does Lance Armstrong go to continue his education? http://cms.bsu.edu/"

"If you date someone working for the federal government and then break up, does he become FedEx? #oksorry"

"There was a guy at the basketball court He tried to make a shot in the fog. He mist."

"I put my root beer in a square cup Now it is just beer"

"I went to a bulimic birthday party. First time I've seen the cake come out of the girl."

"Some guy said I wear as much makeup as a clown so I'm under his bed with a knife. That's what clowns do, right?"