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Joke of the Day
"Somebody stole my mood ring I don't know how to feel about it."
Next Joke
"A heads up to girls on Facebook .. if your status says ""single"" and your profile picture is you with your cat - Well then no fucking shit"
"911: 911, what seems to be the emergency? Me: My nephew just hit the wall while running 911: Haha Me: Haha 911: Ok paramedics are on the way"
"I love raking all the leaves in my yard into a big pile then running really fast and jumping to conclusions when people don't text me back."
"I know a bunch of guys who are like Christian Grey but without the money and the handsomeness. They're in jail."
"What does DJ Kahled say when he wants another taco? Another, Juan"
"Whenever someone asks if I'm a robot I tell them no I'm androidgynous."
"Where do people with foot fetishes get their shoes? Footlicker"
"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."
"[NSFW] I got an awesome handjob from my barber after my haircut Just one of the many benefits to cutting your own hair"