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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of mixed emotions? When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car."

"Never trust a ""Bernie"" to manage your finances... The last one I knew Madoff with all my money."

"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? It heard the ref was blowing fowls."

"As a husband and father, it troubles me that prisoners are still being given time in solitary confinement when I would gladly pay for some."

"People tell me I have ADHD Wanna ride bikes?"

"I popped into Tesco last night to get some oxo cubes but couldn't see any on the shelf, they must be out of stock!"

"why Ed doesn't have a girlfriend? Cause sheeran."

"Saturday plans: -get abducted then hunted by a group of rich guys on a game reserve, then systematically take them out one by one. - laundry"

"There is three rings in marriage... The engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering"

"A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office."