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Joke of the Day

"I got into an argument with my parents about video games. It was a stupid reason to fallout for."

"[Playing piano to impress a Russian girl] ""Do you like it?"" Her: That's sheet music ""Yes, it is."" Her: Now excuse me, I huv to take a sheet."

"What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips."

"First rule of Water Boarding Club: 1. You will talk"

"I hit the gym today... Now the gym's filing for divorce and I'm loosing custody of my children"

"Help I lost my coat! I hope someone didn't jacket!"

"I put my pants on like everyone else... As the cop taps on the glass and shines his high beam in my face."

"What did Hitler give to his daughter on her birthday An easy bake oven."

"sorry I haven't been tweeting much lately. I've been reading the Cheesecake Factory menu"

"An archaeologist notices his partner appears to be nibbling a fossil... Curious, he walks over and asks, ""What you got there?"" ""Not sure"", replies the fellow, ""But you have got to try-a-lil'-bite!"""