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Joke of the Day

"My joke Did you hear about the procrastinator telling a joke. Answer. I,l tell you later."

"Several years ago, the military upgraded the AR-15 to an AR-18, but quickly abondoned the new weapon. When asked about what happened to the new guns, a general replied, "" They Argon."""

"I go to the gym religiously. You know, once or twice a year around the holidays."

"Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection... ...But he's never gonna give you Up."

"According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of ""The Apprentice."""

"I've seen suns that weren't as bright as my cell phone is at 6AM."

"No matter how many offensive jokes I hear... No matter how many offensive jokes I hear, this one is by far the worst. What did the lesbian vampires say to eachother? See you next month."

"Spilled yogurt on my shirt and now I can't stop thinking of selling shirts made of yogurt. The Yoshirt. I taste potential. And mixed berry."

"Procrastination is just like Masturbation It's fun while you're doing it until you realize all you did was fuck yourself."

"Van Gogh's girlfriend: my dearest Vincent, lend me your ear Him: cuts ear off Her: I just wanted u to listen to me Him: nah, I'm good"