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Joke of the Day

"All human beings are threads interwoven in the great tapestry of life, except for that one guy at your office. What the hell is his problem?"

"My pillow has down syndrome."

"Whenever someone says ""I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart"", all I hear is ""I know where you can buy drugs"""

"I'm glad the unbelievably loud teenagers on this flight are all white so I can hate them."

"Hillary Clinton is gonna be our first f president Oops, someone deleted the emale"

"What do you call a black man that flies planes? A pilot, you racist."

"Biotechnologists should invent a totally transparent groundhog. It'd look creepy as hell, but spring would come early forever."

"There's a knock at my door. Jehovah's Witness. I decided to let him in. I go, ""Now what?"" He says, ""I dunno...I never got this far."""

"My entry for the shortest joke in the world congress"

"How many 'friend-zoned' guys does it take to change a light bulb? None they just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."