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Joke of the Day

"I think I was meant to be an American, because every one I've met is funny, smart, kind, and thinks too highly of themselves"

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"How do you write the sound made by a pot or pan bouncing down the stairs? ... ... ... ... ~~~"
"It's like the people who drive Smart cars don't even realize that other cars are an option."
"You know it's true love when your wife farts in bed & you go in the other room & text your boyfriend ""I love you."""
"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children? Want to buy a piece of candy?"
"What's the difference between /r/funny and /r/jokes? /r/jokes is funny and /r/funny is a joke!"
"One wrong choice in a Nancy Drew Choose Your Own Aventure book and you're wearing a human intestine as a scarf in post-apocalyptic Boise."
"Just got added to a list called ""people."" Glad I made that cut."
"About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering."
"What's long, hard, and has cum in it? A cucumber."