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Joke of the Day
"What did the Jewish pedophile say to the children? Want to buy a piece of candy?"
Next Joke
"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."
"Anal sex is like a big red button with ""do not push"" on it... You know you shouldn't, butt fuck it."
"A 3 legged dog walks into a bar... Bartender says ""what can I get you?"" dog replies ""nothing.... I'm just looking for the man who shot my paw"""
"[on first date] Yes I'll have the- *whispers to waiter* I don't speak French *points at menu* ""The French toast, sir?"" Yeah. 6 of those."
"I felt like I was just a statistic, so I went to see a psychologist... She diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder. Now I feel like a distribution."
"What do you call a parsnip riding a dragon? A parsnip."
"They say celebrities die in threes... Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson. Leave it to Billy Mays to throw in the fourth for free."
"What's the most scandalous of the wonders of the ancient world? The Colossus of Scrotes."
"ME: I would like a complaint form ASSISTANT: Sorry, we have none left ME: I would like two complaint forms"