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Joke of the Day

"About to go out and make some foreign dude's night by butchering the pronunciation of the food I'll be ordering."

"100% legal to pay a kid to punch another kid in the face."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"

"My father complained ""I've been using a dating app, but I'm only meeting Middle Eastern men."" Dad, you're using Uber."

"We're working on saving our second million. The first one didn't go so well."

"What is the difference between Usian Bolt and Hitler ? Usian Bolt can finish a race."

"Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone? The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film."

"What's the worst thing about being a black Jew? You have to stand at the back of the gas chamber"

"A Mexican man contended in the Olympics He won a gold medal in the ""Jump and run"" event."

"[first date] ""What's wrong?"" I don't like the ambulance in this place [sniggering] ""You mean ambience"" [next table] NEE NAW NEE NAW WOOOOOO"